Helpful Hints in Dealing With Different Areas Of Conflict

Please remember as you read this, that these are just meant as suggestions. Some of these might work - other won't. People are unique, and all situations are different. The following are meant to be used as general guidelines. If you have any suggestions / tips for dealing with conflict situations, please feel free to write our webmaster so that we might post them here for others to see.

*Don't forget - Mediation by a neutral party is always a great option for conflict matters!*

Teamwork - How To Deal With Conflict

Ask those who disagree to paraphrase one another's comments. This may help them learn if they really understand one another.

Work out a compromise. Agree on the underlying source of conflict, then engage in give-and-take and finally agree on a solution.

Ask each member to list what the other side should do. Exchange lists, select a compromise all are willing to accept, and test the compromise to see if it meshes with team goals.

Have the sides each write 10 questions for their opponents. This will allow them to signal their major concerns about the other side's position. And the answers may lead to a compromise.

Convince team members they sometimes may have to admit they're wrong. Help them save face by convincing them that changing a position may well show strength.

Respect the experts on the team. Give their opinions more weight when the conflict involves their expertise, but don't rule out conflicting opinions.

Reacting To Difficult Types of People

Dealing with the aggressor, who is intimidating, hostile, and loves to threaten. 

What to do: Listen to everything the person has to say. Avoid arguments and be formal, calling the person by name. Be concise and clear with your reactions.

Dealing with the under miner, who take pride in criticism and is sarcastic and devious.

What to do: Focus on the issues and don't acknowledge sarcasm. Don't overreact.

Dealing with the unresponsive person, who is difficult to talk to and never reveals his or her ideas.

What to do: Ask open-ended questions and learn to be silent - waiting for the person to say something. Be patient and friendly.

Dealing with the egotist, who knows it all and feels and acts superior.

hat to do: Make sure you know the facts. Agree when possible and ask questions and listen. Disagree only when you know you're right.

"Walk The Talk"

If you preach teamwork, do you work well with others? 

If you ask your people to take risks, does your behavior match your words?

If you recommend lifelong learning do you attend seminars and keep up in your area? 

If You Must Criticize Someone

Here are some suggestions for giving criticism in a way that will motivate others to do a better job, instead of going on the 

 defensive:

See yourself as a teacher or coach - as being helpful. keep in mind that you're trying to help someone improve. 

Show you care. Express your sincere concern about sharing ways the other person can boost his or her success.

Pick the right moment to offer criticism. Make sure the person hasn't just been shaken by some incident.

Avoid telling people they "should do such and such" or "should have done such and such." "Shoulds" make you appear rigid and plodding.

Avoid giving the impression that you're more concerned with seeing your recommendations put into practice than in helping the other person improve.

Show how the person will benefit from taking the actions you suggest.

Give specific suggestions. Being vague might only make the situation worse by creating anxiety and doubt.

Source: How to Love the Job You Hate, by Jane Boucher, Thomas Nelson Publishers, PO Box 141000, Nashville, TN 37214